This was going to be a post about how one of my neighbors mowed his lawn last Friday even though the grass was all flat and brown and had yet to break its dormancy. But since then it’s rained almost 3 inches which apparently isn’t enough to drown a turkey.
Huh? Exactly. Let me back up.
Does that grass look like it needs a trim? My neighbor spent a good 25 minutes mowing his backyard at a snail’s pace last Friday. I thought I would be excited to hear the first lawn mower of the season, but the whole thing was just so illogical that it became annoying and distracting. I even tried making excuses for him—“maybe he’s mulching leaves”—but there weren’t any leaves to be found. Even if he has a special setting on his mower called “golf course putting green” his blade wasn’t going to make any contact with the turf.
But that’s behind us now because over the weekend we got almost 3 inches of much-needed rain, and all the lawns sprang to life and turned a lovely shade of green that we haven’t seen for months. Of course that lasted all of 12 hours before the rain turned to snow and draped the beautiful green in white again, but at least we’re making progress.
And that brings us to the turkey. On Sunday morning we were getting ready to leave for church. My husband went out the door first, but I lagged behind for a few minutes trying to pick out which kind of jacket to wear in our fickle weather.
When I hopped into our vehicle my husband said, “I had to shoo a turkey off the truck before I could get in.” Remember, we live in the middle of a city. I rattled my head back and forth like a cartoon character and blinked. “What?” He repeated his claim. I asked suspiciously, “A real turkey on OUR truck? Are you punking me? Is this some late April Fool’s Day joke?” He assured me it was very real. He claimed the turkey waddled into our neighbor’s yard, but I couldn’t see anything. We were already running late, so I didn’t have time to get out and investigate.
I guess I forgot all about the turkey because early yesterday morning when I walked outside and around the corner of the house to fetch the garbage and recycling carts, a giant creature ran toward me, spun around and then dodged into the neighbor’s lawn. I shrieked. I’m used seeing to critters around here, but not large critters that run TOWARD me. The turkey was back. I tried to see where it went, but the bird had completely disappeared just like the day before.
I went back into the house to retrieve some cardboard and when I came out again my next-door neighbor was standing at the bottom of our driveway with his two dogs. He was gazing at our house. “Did you see the turkey?” I shouted. “Yeah.” he replied. “He’s sitting on your front stoop. Or at least he was.” “Really?” I whirled around and looked at the stoop where I’d just come from. I started walking in that direction and once again that wily turkey came out of nowhere and started running. He jogged around the side of the house and out of sight.
I cautiously took off after him, but he got away from me. There were little turkey footprints in the snow, but at one point they, too, disappeared into thin air. I peered into other yards and even glanced up into the oak trees to no avail.
I’m probably going to be a little paranoid when I go outside from now on because I don’t know when or if that sneaky bird will strike again.
I wonder if turkeys are attracted to pizza, or perhaps fish fillets?